Weekly Doggy Horoscopes July 12th - July 18th
This week, your doggies are going to be on their best behavior, so make sure to give them extra love, kisses, and a down payment on that really nice Malibu beach house they peed in front of last weekend.
Aries: Your Aries pet is going to have one thing on their mind this week and that’s your sock drawer. I would lock that drawer up with duct tape and a padlock so they don’t go all National Treasure on you and steal all of your right foot socks.
Taurus: Your Taurus pup wants to impress you this week by perfecting that trick where he stands on his hind legs and balances a ball on his nose like a seal. Even if he falls over, don’t laugh! Just encourage him to try his best!
Gemini: Geminis like to do things in partners. Maybe that partner can be you! Go on a long hike, play some fetch, or rob a bank so you can finally pay off your student debt and he can buy that light-up chew toy he’s been eyeing in PetSmart.
Cancer: Your Cancer canine lives for drama. So, when you think that someone is stealing your lunch from the fridge at work, have your dog sniff our the problem and soon you will find out that it’s freaking Todd from HR stealing your Baked Lays potato chips!
Leo: Leos live for performing and this week your Leo pert will be itching for an audience. This is the theme to dust off your old magician’s hat and bring back your act: The Magnificent Human and your trusty puppy sidekick, Ruff House.
Virgo: Virgos are always the calmness and most knowledgeable in the room and this week is no exception. When you are feeling down, your pup will know exactly what to say. Or do at least when they cuddle with you all night long.
Libra: Your Libra dog is going to be extra jealous at that poodle who just moved across the street. Make sure to remind them that no ons is prettier than the other and that what really matters is in our hearts but also… never mind because they are the cutest and prettiest pup on the street!!! Damn that poodle for making them feel bad!!
Scorpio: One thing about Scorpios is that they sting however, your pup doesn’t sting because that would be concerning. But, they know how to stand up for themselves and you. So, when your neighbor who thinks they are the next Dave Growl starts to play music next door at three in the morning claiming that their best work happens at the witching hour, your dag will go over there and tell them to shut up because there is only one Dave Grohl and this man don’t have what it takes.
Sagittarius: Your Sagittarius little munchkin wants to take more chances this week and that includes finally climbing the mountain that is the kitchen counter and retrieving those sacred peanut butter treats. Even if they are a tiny chihuahua.
Capricorn: Your Capricorn doggo is the sweetest pup on the block who makes friends easily. Make sure to take them to the dog park and don’t get too jealous when they have too much fun with the other dogs and leave you on the bench to only watch the fun.
Aquarius: Aquarius dogs have a strong connection to water. Take your dog swimming in a pool or lake. If those options aren’t available, an inflatable pool will work just fine! They don’t mind and will enjoy the water all the same.