Your Pups Weekly Horoscopes (Sept. 19th - 26th)
This week, every dog in the world will lose their sense of smell. As their owners, we have to smell for them which means you have to smell… you know… Sorry. I don’t make the rules, I just read the canine stars.
Aries: Your Aries pup might be afraid of the dark, but your limited edition Gremlins night light you received when you were 6 is your pup’s new BFF.
Taurus: You wish your Taurus pup can talk because they would tell you a dark secret about your future! Learn how to interpret your dog’s barks to find out if you will find the love of your life this week or if you will get run over by Owen Wilson on his bike.
Gemini: If you own two Geminis, they are going all Hardy Boys this week and solve the mastery of why their human doesn’t allow them to drink from the toilet.
Cancer: This week, your Cancer pup wants a makeover! Then, when they look all fresh and gorgeous, take them on a walk around town and everyone will wish they can have a fabulous fur-baby like yours.
Leo: Is it Shark Week yet? Or is your Leo dog obsessed with biting your toes in the middle of the night?
Virgo: Even if your Virgo dog thinks every meeting you have at work this week can be an email.
Libra: This is a sign to take a lavish photoshoot with your Libra pup on the beach. Just don’t get mad if they try to eat a seagull again.
Scorpio: You might have lied on your resume about being proficient in excel, but your Scorpio pup can you in that department.
Sagittarius: It’s going to be shocking finding your Sagittarius pup’s reddit account and all the times they trolled on threads dedicated to cats, mailman, and Mitt Romney. (remember when he tied his dog’s cage to the roof of his car on a roadtrip??)
Capricorn: Remember that beginning scene in Up when we see the old man’s wife and stuff? Your dog will actually care more about the dog character and his obsession with squirrels.
Aquarius: Your Aquarius buddy wants a little sibling so, bite the bullet and make their dream come true!