Week of June 14th-20th Doggy Horoscopes - Dope Dog

Week of June 14th-20th Doggy Horoscopes

This is the week of knowledge and the world is truly your pup’s oyster. Make sure they know everything they need to be know about the world! But not too much knowledge, because you are still the alpha of the house and who knows what would happen if dogs realized that they don’t have to be the pet… but the owner.

Aries:

Your Aries pup is going to be feeling themselves this week. So, put on some Doja Cat and make some cute TikToks. Soon they will become famous and you will become rich in no time. (Capitalism is great sometimes, isn’t it?)

Taurus:

Your Taurus doggo is feeling a bit shy this week. They want to ask for cuddles and playtime, but they don’t want to come off as annoying. Isn’t that just horrible??!! HUG THEM RIGHT NOW!!

Gemini:

You know that your Gemini buddy is smart but what’s more important is that your pup is aware of their big brain! Make sure to treat them when they do something smart and thoughtful this week. Maybe sign them up for Jeopardy and watch them win enough money to pay for your iced matcha addiction.

Cancer:

Cancer dogs love to eat and this week, they are craving something new and exciting that differs from the mundane kibble. Crack open a cookbook and send them to Flavor Town. That’s right, call up King Guy Fieri and he can recommend the diners, drive ins, and dives that will be sure to satisfy your pup’s hunger.

Leo:

Yes, your Leo fur ball is loud, but it’s only because they have a lot to say and it sucks that you can’t understand them. For Father’s Day on Sunday, all they want is to express what is lodged into their heart. It sounds complicated, but learn how to speak dog so you can translate their message of gratitude. It sounds hard but if you can learn how to speak Klingon on Duolingo, then I’m sure dog is on there too.

Virgo:

Your Virgo buddy is calm and the master of zen. If you have a lot going on this week, they can help you unwind. Do some yoga with them and soon you will be just as good at your downward dog.

Libra:

We all love our Libra pups, but they can be a bit flighty. This week make sure they don’t get themselves in trouble like eating out of the trash can, running into a glass door, or being too forward to that cute poodle across the street!

Scorpio:

Sigh, your Scorpio puppy loves drama. This week, they are going to purposely get into a fight with you by clawing the sides of your new Tesla àlà Kelly Clarkson. Do not get mad, just ignore them until they get the idea that a bad deed = no attention = no drama. Don’t give in!

Sagittarius:

It’s a wonderful thing that Sagittarius pups always sees the best in people. This week, the local dognapper might try to lure your dog into their white van with treats and hopes of chew toys galore in the backseat. Teach your dog about stranger danger and train them to fight like that one guy from that movie. Do you know what I’m talking about? The one with the old boxer and he, like, runs up some stairs? Robby? Rollie? Rodney?

Capricorn:

Your Capricorn dog loves Star Trek even though you love Star Wars. This week, just watch old episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation because your pet suffers from anxiety when they don’t get their way and if they don’t have their emotional support Picard, then you will have to console your upset pup.

Aquarius:

Don’t let your Aquarius bud in the pool! Trust me! I know what I’m talking about! It’s in the stars!

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