Week Of September 5th Doggy Horoscopes
This week you better be ready for extra cuddles because dogs everywhere are feeling the love!
Aries: Teach your Aries pup something they have always wanted to learn: how to dunk like Bugs Bunny in Space Jam: A New Legacy.
Taurus: This week, your Taurus pup is going to start speaking Italian for some reason.
Gemini: It’s a Gemini’s best day ever! Some local punks broke open the fire hydrant and it’s time to splash!
Cancer: Your Cancer pup might seem under the weather this week but fear not, they just figured out they like the attention you give them when they pretend to feel sick.
Leo: Buy your Leo doggo a hat this week! But only a top hat, it will all make sense this week, trust me.
Virgo: The olympics is when the world’s best athletes gather to show their physical prowesses. This week, your Virgo is attempting to win the gold in the event of holding the largest amount of sticks in their mouth.
Libra: Libras this week will believe they are like Aang the next Airbender and believe they can control all four elements: water, air, earth, and fire. Of course, they can’t and the only thing they can bend are destroyed socks and shedding on absolutely everything.
Scorpio: Your Scorpio pup has watched too many episodes of the Real Housewives of New York when they flip the dining room table after not receiving the correct amount of kibble.
Capricorn: When you least expect it, your Capricorn is going to jump on you from behind!!
Aquarius: It’s that time of summer when the ol’ slip and slide is taken out of storage. Basically, it’s the best day of your Aquarius’ life.